duterte pikon galit pnoy

(UPDATE: Davao city vice mayor Paolo Duterte has resigned effective Dec. 25, citing his word war with daughter Isabelle, failed marriage and his alleged involvement in the P6.4 billion shabu smuggling.)

Mula kay Bernard Ong:

It’s Christmas – time of rebirth, salvation, forgiveness. There’s a word war brewing between the second and third generations of Davao’s ruling dynasty.

Not good to poke into people’s private affairs – even when they air their laundry in public. So I’m going to play good angel and just whisper friendly advice to both sides of the feud.

HE SAID: Hindi ibig sabihin na kung ibubugaw ka ng taong yan, titikom na lang bibig ko.

MY ADVICE TO HIM: Good decision. We should never keep quiet when there is wrongdoing. Invoking ‘right to privacy’ signifies guilt. Open your bank accounts and show us the tattoo.

MY ADVICE TO HER: Listen to your father. I don’t know how you got pimped. This family is in the business of making lots of money and destroying enemies. We protect each other. We don’t pimp. Be like the Marcoses – the family that steals together sticks together.

HE SAID: Palitan mo na family name mo kung gusto mo. Nakakahiya ka.

MY ADVICE TO HER: (Say this with feeling, just like Dad at the hearing) No way! Your surname alone is worth hundreds of millions – at least according to bank documents showing deposits to your relatives over the years. You can run for mayor, congressman, whatever – on the strength of your family name. Besides, this family was never about hiya.

HE SAID: Mag-aral ka para may alam utak mo.

MY ADVICE TO HER: Excellent idea. Don’t be like Lolo who cut classes, flunked math, got expelled, shot a classmate, cheated to get his ROTC exemption. His bad education led to bad judgement and bad policies – affecting millions of Filipinos today.

SHE SAID: Hindi ibig sabihin nasa position ka sa city, pwede ka na mambugbog.

MY ADVISE TO HER: Wake up girl. That’s what your family does. Beating people, slapping people, cursing at people, killing people – those are in your DNA. Embrace who you truly are. Slap back.

Ok that was bad advice. Here’s a better one. Go to DSWD. Report child battery. If Davao Group is immune to anti-drug investigation, perhaps anti-child abuse might do the trick.

SHE SAID: My dad fucks up my Christmas every year. What a time to be alive.

MY ADVICE TO HER: Look at the bright side, lady. You’re alive. Other 17 year-old kids are tortured and killed as drug suspects by your Lolo’s war on poor. Count yourself lucky to look forward to next Christmas.

FINAL ADVICE TO HER: Drop the tarantula debut gown. So imeldific. Not cool.

Ang tanong: Ano kaya ang maging future ng bansa kung magulo din ang tahanan at pamilya ng ating mga lider?

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